NitroXFlash - Nudity / Nudism / Exhibitionism

On Looking when Nude

Ok, so you are either an experienced nudist or a first-time nudist learning the freedom and joys of it all.  Either way you are eventually going to be confronted with how appropriate it is to look at the other persons nude body or consider them looking at you.

I strongly feel, go ahead and look.  You know you are curious, so am I.  It's not something we see every day is another persons nude body, especially when it's someone new.  Take a look, take a good long look and enjoy.

I think it's silly to sit nude with someone or hang out and socialize with them and pretend you are not interested or pretend you are not nude.  You are nude, that's the whole point, so don't act or pretend that you're not!  Enjoy it, enjoy looking, enjoy being looked at.

There is nothing wrong with drinking in a good long look, or repeatedly looking at another person when nude.  It's ok, to look down between a guys legs and check out his penis and balls; again, you're curious what he/they look like, it's natural and normal.  You shouldn't be afraid to be 'caught' looking.

This leads to the question of when men are socializing or hanging out nude in a non-sexual way and one or both men get an erection.  I've discussed both appropriate erections when nude and inappropriate erections.  If one or both men get an erection, it's going to be obvious since you're nude.  Again, why pretend nothing is happening or you don't realize it.

Yet again, go ahead and look.  Enjoy the sight of his erection, and how it differs from when he's not erect.  If you become erect, be proud of it, you are opening yourself up to another layer of freedom and openness to him/her, it's a natural part of who you are and nothing to be ashamed of.

Where this crosses the line is if it turns from non-sexual to sexual by touching each other or yourself.  There is nothing inherantly wrong with doing so if that is what the situation is about, but a typical nudist non-sexual situation does not include sexual contact; regardless of erections.

Allow your mind to seperate the conclusion that an erection when nude equals sex.  Once you manage that, you free yourself to look, be looked at and enjoy them without pressure or conclusions.

Matt

On Erections when Nude

People often ask me about getting an erection when I'm nude with someone else.  I discuss 'inappropriate erections' elsewhere, but simply getting an erection when nude in a setting with someone else is a bit different.

Not everyone shares my view on this obviously, but I am pretty open and accepting of the possibility or potential to get an unexpected erection when in a social (non-sexual) nude setting.

As I've said elsewhere, guys get erections all the time.  Gernally when it happens, the guy is wearing clothing that conceals his arousal and no one is the wiser.  However, when you're nude it's pretty much impossible to miss seeing it.

Personally, I think it's just no big deal.  It's part of being a guy; a natural reaction to something, no different than a smile at something funny or a shiver from being chilled.  Getting an erection IS a sexual thing; it indicates some level of arousal on the part of the man.  Ok fine, however, that does not necessarily mean he is going to take that erection to the next step and become sexual with it.

Plain and simple, when a man get's an erection it is indicative of his being comfortable, him enjoying some aspect of his or others nude body.  It may be that the sight of someone else with him creates a level of attraction to that person.  It may be that he is enjoying the fact that someone else is seeing his body naked.  It may simply be that his mind is conditioned to the perception that two people together, without clothing equals a sexual encounter.  It's all normal, all natural and all ok.

The difference is what he does with his erection.  If he simply accepts that his penis is erect and takes no further action on it, then it's really no big deal.  It's even ok for others to look at the erection or talk about it, as I discuss in another post.

More often than not, almost always actually, I get erections when I am nude in a non-sexual, social situation.  I usually can control or 'force' myself NOT to get an erection if I really want to or if I perceive it would be very inappropriate in that particular circumstance.  Usually though, I prefer to allow my body and mind to be free, experience the moment and react naturally wihtout inhibition or control.

Often, when I first get nude in a situation or with another person(s), I am excited by the fact that we will be hanging out nude and derive pleasure from that knowledge and my body may react by getting an erection or at least a semi-erection.  Sometimes it happens, othertimes it doesn't.  The more familiar I am with the person or situation the less likely it is to occur.  In many situations that I am socializing or hanging out nude, I will get an erection and it comes and then it goes, and then it comes back.

I don't feel there is anything wrong with it happening.  I am a normal, healthy guy who is responding biologically to my situation.  An erection means I am enjoying myself, I am experiencing my self-sexuality and awareness, I find the situation pleasurable.  I prefer, and usually, do not make any attempt to hide my erection (unless it's inappropriate).  I'm nude, it's there, we can both see it, and why be ashamed.  Erections are a beautiful, natural part of being a man.  Something to be proud of, both in having one yourself or seeing another man get one.

Many first-time nudists that I have met and socialized with, cite this as a big concern for them.  The embarasement of getting an uncontrolled or unexpected erection.  I always tell them not to worry about it, not to be embarassed and chances are, I will get or have an erection as well.  Generally if two men are socializing nude and one gets an erection, it will trigger one in the other man as well.  Kind of a cool phenomenon if you ask me.

So don't sweat it.  Enjoy your (or his) erection visually, talk about it if you like, be proud of it, and realize above all else that it does not mean you are about to have sex and you'll be fine.  Some guys can handle this, and others it's too big of a mind-leap to be comfortable with their own or another guys erection and the perception that it indicates immenent sexual contact.  If you're not ok with it, then that is alright, this is only my opinion.  However, I have hung out nude socially with many men, non-sexually, including straight men who once they get the hang of the idea, totally relax and live in the moment.  To each his own.

Matt

On Non-sexual Nudity

As I discuss nudity and nudism, I make frequent reference to "non-sexual" as being a critical component of it.

To me, nudity or nudism is non-sexual and I'll define that in a moment.  Naked is where nudity becomes sexual and sexual is of course sexual.

So what is "non-sexual" then?  Well, obviously it indicates that no sexual contact occurs between the two ore more people who are nude and socializing together. 

To understand what my views are and what I mean, we need to break down sexual and non-sexual into two categories: the body and the mind.

When I talk non-sexual, I am specifically referring to the body only.  Non-sexual to me, means that whatever happens (an erection, attraction, or whatever), the limits are set that it is a social situation and no touching (self or other) or sex will occur.

The mind is an entirely different matter.  When you seperate the mind and the body sexually it becomes more simple to make this distinction.  You have little control over the mind and what it thinks or how it reacts; the same can be said over the body as well.  However, you do have control over what you choose to do with those thoughts or body reactions.

When socializing nude a man may get an erection.  His mind is perceiving a sexual situation, or is deriving pleasure or arousal from the fact that he is nude with someone else.  That in and of itself is a sexual thing, clearly; however it need not become a sexual situation.  It's ok for the mind to receive pleasure from being nude around another person, to achieve an erection, to enjoy and get pleasure from looking at antoher person nude or being looked at nude.  It's all healthy, normal stuff. 

What makes it a non-sexual situation is that despite whatever (appropriate) pleasure the mind has going on from the nudity, you have made and make a choice not to act on taking it any further to become sexual.  That means no masturbation, no touching the other person and no engaging in sexual activity.

To me, despite whatever the mind has going on, the body has going on, the decision to go ahead and enjoy those sensations and pleasures but not act on them constitutes a non-sexual situation.  In the same way you may find a friends boyfriend/girlfriend attractive; when you choose not to do anything about that, you can continue to find them attractive and so, it's not sexual.

Having said all that, there is nothing wrong either with two consenting adults who are nudists, or nude together socially if they wish to become sexual.  I am not opposed to that or feel that it's wrong at all.  I do feel, however, that it is generally important to set boundaries when socializing nude, especially when you're meeting with someone new or in a new situation.

By setting the boundaries, that you are socializing nude non-sexually, it takes all the pressure off both of you that anything more might happen and what you will do if that happens.  Perhaps one of you may find the other attractive, but the other doesn't feel the same way.  Perhaps one of you may have a spouse or partner and be monogomous and not want any sexual contact, but are ok with nude socializing.  Perhaps you are not at all looking for any sexual encounter, but you do desire to have nude socialization with another person or people.  By setting the boundary and expectation that it is non-sexual you establish a critical level of trust with the other person that it is ok to just be nude and that nothing more will happen; regardless of attraction, desire or anything else that occurs in the moment.

You can always adjust your meeting or relationship later or afterwards if things change for you and re-establish new expectations if you're both of the same mind.

I can't tell you how many straight men I have met for the first time to socialize nude, who were concerned with the fact that a gay man would attempt to become sexual with them once they were together.  By establishing the situation will be non-sexual (if you can manage to convince a straight man of this, hehehe), it allows a heterosexual man and a gay man to socialize nude without any of the worry or concern.  Of course the heterosexual man needs to be comfortable enough with himself that he is accepting of the fact that a gay man will be seeing him naked and derive pleasure from that; however nothing more will take place.  The straight men I've met and hung out naked with have become very comfortable after the first awkward meeting.  Once they realize I'm not going to try anything with them, they relax and just enjoy hanging out with another guy in the nude.  Many of them later confess that while they don't want anything sexual to happen, they do enjoy the attention of being looked at and appreciated or admired even if it's by another man.  Affirmations are always enjoyable to get.

I strongly feel that when you are arranging a meeting with another person or group, to establish is as non-sexual if that is both of your intents.  If during the meeting, you find each other attractive or you wish more to happen, that can... next time; after a discussion about what the desires and boundaries are.

Matt

Eye Candy

. . . Matt

On Nude Friendship

I am always looking for new friends.  Internet friends are cool, but friends who I hang out with are even better.  Ideally having a really good friend or a couple of good friends with guys who are into nudity or nudism to some degree would be the best.  Second to that would be a real-life-friend who although isn't into nudity himself, is fully comfortable of it with me and when I'm around.

The Internet is a great place to meet people and make friends, but nothing can substitute having a buddy to actually hang out with together, talk on the phone, go out and do things and take care of and care about each other.  The guy could be straight, bisexual or gay; it doesn't matter really, all that's important is we share common interests, have fun together and hang out socially.  I am comfortable with my own sexuality and as long as we have fun and enjoy the same things, it doesn't matter at all the other sexual aspects of that persons or my life.

Having a friend who is also a nudist would be very cool.  This guy would understand me more fully, he and I would be comfortable hanging out together clothed or nude, depending on the situation or circumstances and we'd accept each other with that in mind.  We could hang naked sometimes when appropriate and possible and also be cool with being clothed and doing non-nude things as well.  A well rounded situation where nudism is a part of our friendship, but not the basis of it or a requirement every time.

I have tried to make real-life nudist friends or friends who are cool with my nudism around them sometimes, but havn't had a great degree of success.  To some guys who are not truly nudists or curious only about it, trying it for the first time; they aren't sure if its the right type of situation for them.  I always welcome getting to know a novice, or guy who's never just hung out nude non-sexually, it's fun to teach them the ropes and be there as they first experience it all.  To yet some other guys, it's difficult to seperate out sexual from friendship in a nude social situation.  I've had some guys tell me that they don't know how to handle when they're attracted to me or get desires to become sexual once we are nude together and hanging out.  My answer to that is that it's fine to be attracted, it's fine to have sexual desires; but that doesn't mean you have to take the friendship to that level.  It's actually kind of cool to have a buddy whom you hang nude with that you are attracted to; it makes it more fun on the eyes and mind in some respects.

I am, however, not looking to date or get into a relationship, and I think this is where many guys get confused.  We are nude together, hanging out, having fun, enjoying each other and we are NUDE... and they want more and can't seem to handle simply being friends instead of dating.

Each guy is different and has different reasons and thoughts for what they want and don't want.  It would be ideal to find one or two guys whom I could be very good friends with, who live locally or we visit each other often, that are into being nude sometimes around each other, comfortable with it all and we share this very fun and intimate experience together as buds.

I'm also not opposed to having female friends to hang out nude with socially, however female nudists are rare and tend to have less in common than two men do as nudist friends.

Matt

Eye Candy

. . . Matt

On (Inappropriate) Erections

An erection is the most natural thing in the world, for a guy at least :)

All guys get erections, and sometimes they just happen without our consent or control.  Sometimes we like it when they happen (ok we always like it) and sometimes we wish we wouldn't be erect.

Where the difference, in my mind at least, lies between nude and lewd or nude and naked or offensive or not is pretty easily summed up.

If a guy is nude at a nude beach or in a place where it's 'appropriate' for him to be nude and he gets an erection, it's not offensive.  The difference is if he grabs it and starts jacking off, where it crosses the line.

I make this same distinction for exhibitionism as opposed to nudity.  Set aside your thoughts on if its rude/lewd or inappropriate to see a guy buck naked outside in a park or on the street for a second.  If I am streaking down a street, naked and I'm seen naked, I find it no more offensive at all if I have an erection, so long as I'm not jacking off. 

My being erect is just as much part of the exhibitionism as being naked, if it happens.  Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't; more often it comes and goes.  If you're looking at me naked, you're seeing all of me: my whole body, who I am physically as a man.  If I'm erect, you're seeing a bit more and you're also seeing that I'm a healthy, sexual man who is turned on by the situation and enjoying it. 

Having an erection isn't offensive.  Jacking off with it in public can be depending on the audience.  So, in my mind whether you're at a nude beach/party/resort or doing a naked dare or streak... and you get an erection its 'ok' with the boundary of no touching.  My thoughts on the matter...

Matt

On My Dick Flash Photo Series

This coming Spring and Summer 2006 (or sooner in a warmer city) I am going to take a series of dick flash pictures. My goal is to get as many pictures as possible with my dick hanging out of my zipper or the leg of my shorts in a public place.  This won't be fully naked, just dick/balls showing.

Each place will be unique, and need not be in Chicago (prefer its not all in Chicago actually).  All the photo's will be taken in a public place and/or outdoors.  If possible I want to get pictures that show me with my dick hanging/sticking out that also shows other people around me.  An example would be me sitting down with my dick hanging out of my shorts while people walk behind me, oblivious to what is happening.

This is the photo (on the left) that inspired the idea; it's one of my favorites and I wish I knew who this dude was.

Obviously this is a challenge to do in the first place, and moreso when I'm trying to take the pictures myself.  Ideally I want to get 100 seperate pictures to display of me dick flashing in public.  I will be looking for people to help me out by taking a picture or two with me in different spots.  If you'd like to assist me, PLEASE let me know.

I will post all the photo's taken here on my blog.  I have a photo album of varying quality net-pictures of guys dickflashing in one way or another here.

Matt

On Sexual Nakedness

Exhibitionism or being naked is about showing off.  More importantly it's about showing off in a public, semi-public, unexpected or erotic place.

Meeting someone at their house, getting naked and having sex, isn't exhibitionism in my mind; it's sex.  You pretty much have to be at least partially naked to have sex after all.

The true thrill of exhibitionism is about being SEEN.  That's where the fun, excitement and thrill come in.

Now, I'm a guy, so sure, I love sex, don't get me wrong at all.  Sex is wonderful, great, and incredible in its own right.  But so is exhibitionism to me; and the two can be completely distinct.

Let's face it, sex between two guys is pretty easy to find, almost anywhere, anytime you want it and can go find it.  Exhibitionism is rare, difficult to find other guys interested in it, either watching or participating and has it's own unique thrill.  When I'm looking for exhibitionism or partners to do it with/for, its different than finding sexual partners.

On occasion, the line does get crossed and that's ok, sometimes.  If a true exhibitionistic experience leads to and results to sexual tension and a need to release that in an exhibitionistic way, then it's ok... sometimes.  A good test is to decide what the main purpose is: to show off or be naked someplace fun and erotic or to get off.  If it's the latter to get off, then most likely it's sex with a dash of exhibitionism maybe thrown in.

• Simply having sex in a private place isn't exhibitionism.  Buck naked self/solo-masturbation while the other guy watches in private is exhibitionism.
• Having sex outside in private isn't exhibitionism.  Having sex outside or someplace where other people can see you and watch is exhibitionism.
• Having a guy suck my dick in private isn't exhibitionism.  Being totally naked, and stroking my dick over a clothed guys face while he watches is exhibitionism.
• Coming to your house to get 'naked' and have sex isn't exhibitionism.  Arriving at your doorstep naked and ringing the bell with my clothes left outside is exhibitionism.
• Being at your private hotel room 'naked' isn't exhibitionism (its nudity).  Running down your hotel hallway or stairwell naked is exhibitionism.
• Being naked in a store dressing room where no one can see you isn't exhibitionism.  Being naked in a store dressing room but leaving the curtain open or stepping out naked to get something is exhibitionism.
• Being naked in a car getting a blowjob where no one can see you isn't exhibitionism.  Being naked in a car and getting a blowjob while driving so truckers can see what's happening is exhibitionism.

Get the point? ;)

The two most common misconceptions or deliberate misunderstandings by those who are not exhibitionists or have no interest in it are: having sex in private is exhibitionism, sending endless self-pictures naked is 'fun' exhibitionism.

Matt

On Pictures & Exhibitionism

One thing I seem to get a lot of is an assumption that because I am a nudist and exhibitionist, I enjoy sending out endless pictures of myself in emails to total strangers.

So, lets take a step back for a moment...

I do enjoy posting some pictures of myself on the Internet in various displays of clothing or lack-thereof.  I enjoy showing off in that way to generate interest in myself from others, strangers and people with like-interests.  True enough.  I put those pictures out there to elicit a reaction and to establish contact and interest with others.  Yeah, I do enjoy getting emails and compliments, and truly do enjoy knowing that you like what I'm showing, enjoying seeing my body naked and want to see more; there is that level and its real and pleasurable and that's an important part. But ...

Where this deviates is when I get contact/emails from total strangers asking for more pictures and want to see more and more and more without knowing a thing about them at all.  The pictures I share are to develop a relationship of some sort with others; that relationship isn't enjoyable to me when it's one-sided and me sending pictures or stories and getting zip in return.

For me to share more of myself, I want and need to know more about you.  Where you live, how old you are, your bio or stats, what your interests in nudity or exhibitionism are.  I also want to see what you look like; just like you may want to see me or more of me, I too get the same pleasures out of a visual that you do.

Mainly I get the most satisfaction and enjoyment out of 'personal exposure'; meaning actually showing off, exposing or being naked with another person right there.  That is the real thrill and excitement for me.  The pictures, while fun, and having their place are more of a means to an end, or a capture of a moment in time when I was enjoying myself by exposure.  I enjoy about 20% showing off from pictures or other ways, but 80% of the real fun for me is actually doing it when someone else can see me.  The real-live moment when I am naked, showing off, exposing myself to fully and you're right there to see it; in the moment, for real, live and close.

So keep this in mind when you send the email (from aol) that simply says "hot, let me see more!" and that's it.  Or keep it in mind when you think about emailing me saying "you should just send me pictures since you're an exhibitionist."

Matt